Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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