Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Is it because I queefed?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
