NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
