You really coming over, don't trick.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
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College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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