i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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