Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
