Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Sext me about skeletons
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
