so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize