she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
