bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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