if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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