thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
