Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
