after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
