Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
The best revenge is premature balding
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
