Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
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Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
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You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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