I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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