sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
