need another drink. this is the easiest way
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
