I look better un-naked...
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
