is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
