I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
