i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
