Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Randomize
