woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
