Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
