I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
