His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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