I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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