I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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