why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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