hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
