i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
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My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
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so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
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