I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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