And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
