allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
