I got chris browned last night
Who did Billy Mays play for?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
