Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
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