new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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