you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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