Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
