I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
