Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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