At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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