Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
