Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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