Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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