idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
