I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
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Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
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I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
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