Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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