I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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