Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
