ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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