Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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