Your tits are I can't wait for
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
