I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
