Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
The convent might be a nice break from real life
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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