she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
soo... how was my night?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
