Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
