I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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